


The Little Things

by MCO



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Gen, Grief/Mourning, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-30
Updated: 2014-03-30
Packaged: 2018-01-17 14:51:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1391737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MCO/pseuds/MCO
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's the little things that get to you. When someone dies.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Little Things

It's the little thing that gets to you. When someone dies. 

Yes, the dying part is hard, and you might have cried a little at the funeral. But it isn't the worst.

People says it's the absence the hardest. 

You disagree not-so-respectfully.

The absence you got used to it pretty easily. Too easily to be comfortable, but you're used to it, now. It isn't like you were attached to the hips. You were friends. Pretty close friends. But between your missions, his own job, your girlfriend, and he had a kind-of girlfriend in Portland too, you could spent months without having quality time together. It didn't mean that you didn't love each other. You'd even argue it means you were that greatest of friends since you could spent more than six months without talking to each other and still remain the same.

For you, the absence may be even the easiest thing. You can imagine he's just on another mission and he can't communicate unless there's a huge screw up somewhere. You can forget he isn't alive for a minute or two and think that he's just supervising a new secret team that Fury has set up for him.

You think that Phil would have liked that. Natasha agrees with you.

The hardest is really the little things.

It's when you have to play nice accountant Jason when you go undercover and you have to wear a suit and a tie and someone comments on your tie, and you blink away your tears because Phil always have-had something to say about ties.

It's when you're this close to tears when you see a dentist plate in the street because Phil was a hygiene-freak about his teeth. 

It's when your laugh sounds more like sobs when someone tell you the cute story of a kid and you remember that Phil always regrets that he didn't have one himself.

It's not always. You don't cry over every ties, every dentists or every kid stories. It just caught you off-guard. 

You were prepared for the absence, for the birthdays and the anniversaries, for the other voice on your com on the Level 9 missions , and for his empty office. You were even prepared for his favorite songs and movies and shows and foods. 

You were prepared for all the usual stuff. It's not like it's the first time you lose someone.

But You didn't even know that somewhere in your mind you linked all of those other little things to him, that it was somethings you needed to watch out.

And that's why they're the hardest.


End file.
